Spring Break Clash

Dear Jen and Tom,

My husband and I thought we had the perfect honeymoon planned: beachside service, unlimited margaritas, privacy, you name it! We were so excited to finally be able to indulge and relax (it had been a while since we were last able to do so with the years of saving and planning). When we saw a friend’s picture from her vacation in Cancun, we were sold. The beautiful beaches, warm weather, and nice hotel seemed ideal for what we wanted. While we were greeted by the mariachi band and given our ‘welcome’ margaritas, so were the hundreds of college kids that had come for their spring break!

We decided to give it a chance. We went straight to the beach hoping to unwind and recuperate, but the beach looked like Times Square at New Years. Not only were the private cabanas booked for the whole week; there was barely room for our 2 towels on the hotels entire beach. There were Wet T-shirt Contests to my left, Beer Pong Tournaments to my right; it was honestly straight out of “Girls Gone Wild”. Being trampled by drunken college kids, getting alcohol thrown all over us, and having to watch a nearly unconscious girl puke into the hotel Jacuzzi was NOT the romantic honeymoon activities we envisioned. It was impossible to escape the debauchery!!

We decided to explore the city, in hopes of leaving the madness behind. We found a cute little traditional restaurant, off the beaten path, where we ran into another set of newlyweds. We shared our honeymoon nightmare with them. They rambled how wonderful and relaxing their resort was; and without a second thought we knew we had to make the switch! The moment we stepped into the Hacienda Tres Rios Resort, our trip took a 180. This resort was ideal for the perfect honeymoon; full of fun and romance. Our romantic activities NOW consisted of Jacuzzi baths surrounded by fresh flower petals and moonlight massages.

Although the trip ended on a high note, next time we won’t be so quick to jump the gun!

-Cathy G.
Butte, Montana

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Valentine's Day Memories

Dear Jen and Tom,
I've been thinking about Valentine’s Day recently because that’s all you see everywhere for the two weeks leading up to the 14th. I can’t help but giggle to myself every now and again when I see romance this time of the year. When my husband and I first got together, we were in Florida for grad school. He took me to the beach and tried to write I love you in the sand. But he wrote it too low and the tide had washed most of it off by the time we walked down. I made a joke at the “poor sap” who wrote that for his girlfriend or wife, not knowing it was meant for me. It was the first time we would have said the L word, taking the relationship to the next level. He was so nervous the rest of the night because he didn’t know how else he was going to tell me, or even if he should. I had helped him make a picnic, but he slipped in a love note when I wasn’t looking. It was sweet and revealed much of his heart. Each Valentine’s Day since, I take it out and read it during dinner. After dinner on the freezing beach, we walked back to the car. I don’t know how he did it but my present was sitting on my seat when I got back! I unwrapped it right there. Inside was a monkey wearing a collar. Charles calls me his little monkey. He wasn’t trying to say I'm on a tight leash now with the monkey’s collar. He was trying to say “I love you.” The collar was a gorgeous silver and diamond bracelet. He had the back engraved “Happy Valentine’s Day My Love.” Of course like any giddy school girl I had to question the “my love.” He then nervously told me that he loved me, right there in the beach parking lot. We now live in Colorado; each year we fly down to Florida for a couple of days right around Valentine’s Day to commemorate the cement where our love began.

With Love,
Abby

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Cruise Gone Bad, Bad, Worse

Dear Jen and Tom,

You are never going to believe what happened two years ago on our honeymoon. My husband Joe and I decided to take a cruise for 8 days after the wedding. We didn't know much about cruises but our friends gave us some tips and we landed on going around Africa. We had high but few expectations. Now, don't get me wrong, we did have an amazing time being together, however, from the booking to the unpacking and doing laundry once home again, everything was a disaster. Joe, being the accountant that he is, always likes to get the best deal he possibly can. So he decided to go on random websites for hours each night finding the "perfect" cruise. I didn't find out about his extensive search until recently. 

We got to the air port around 5 AM the morning after the wedding and conveniently our flight was over booked, which led to four hours of a little girl's stories, who was flying to visit daddy because mommy kicked him out (Great way to start a marriage, right?) Once we arrived on the ship we felt invincible. However, it didn't really look how we felt. I was fairly old and made creaking noises. I make jokes that I felt like I was on a pirate ship, not an elegant cruise. But I couldn't tell Joe because he was so proud of his great deal. Well the first night went smoothly, for a gigantic pirate ship. Then the bickering began. Fighting when we woke up, until deep into the night. It kept us up the majority of the cruise. We couldn't escape it; not at dinner, not at the pool, not even in the spa when we were apart. I'm not talking about Joe and I fighting. I'm talking about the others on this miserable divorcee cruise. It was horrible. Terrible. All the couples seemed to be seconds away from a divorce. The only thing Joe and I had were each other. The cruise was a complete mismatch. I felt like I was trapped in a bad comedy. 

But the misery didn't stop there. Joe could see I was miserable so he tried to spice things up. He got me a stuffed dog, dark chocolates, and some gorgeous flowers from the pitiful cruise souvenir shop. Then the old boat hit a wave and everything Joe had just bought me went, down, down, down. As I glanced over the side of the ship all I could see was the tiny dark pieces of happiness soak into the ocean. It was a small event, cheap chocolates, but to me it was the end of the world.

This next part is the icing on the cake. Wouldn't you know, as soon as all Joe's hard work hit the water, Mr. Rosengardner came stumbling up to me. He tried to put the moves on me, for the fifth time, completely ignoring the ring on my finger and the man on my arm. He spilt his gin and tonic all over my blouse. Then, of course, tried the oldest trick in the book- tried to pat me dry. Oh I wish you could have seen the look on Joe's face right before he clocked that old son of gun. All I remember next was a lot of pointing and more yelling. At the next port we were asked to leave the cruise. 

So, there we were, stuck in Africa with no hotel no idea what we were going to do. Luckily we found a nice hotel and settled down for the night. We found out the nearest airport was 28 miles away. This would be no problem if we were in southern California, or even anywhere that uses something other than donkey for travel. Can you imagine riding a donkey for 28 miles on your honeymoon? OUTRAGOUS! The bumps and smells were a close second and third favorite right after the pesky bugs. Needless to say, this June when we renew vows I did the research this time and came across AskAboutTravel. My travel agent, Amie was so helpful and I am completely confident that this time it will not end in a donkey ride to the airport.  

Love, 

Allison and Derek

Seattle, WA

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Relying on the Family "Travel Experts"

Dear Jen and Tom,

We were on our way to Maui for our honeymoon and on the flight out there we met this other couple on an anniversary trip. It turned out we had a lot in common we were both from a small town in Southern California called Temecula and both met our spouses at the Lake Elsinore Moto-X track. We also both had reservations at the Hyatt Regency Maui.

We got off the plane then went over to the baggage claim to pick up our matching Skin Industries duffle bags then headed over to the

Budget car rental stand to pick up our Ford F-150 because we heard Maui had some killer sand dunes. Apparently they had lost our reservation and were all out of other vehicles and had no way to get our hotel. But luckily a few minutes later our friends we just met from Temecula walked up to the counter and within minutes were given the keys to an F-150 that they had reserved through a travel agent.

We told them of our situation and they offered us a ride to the hotel but unfortunately we had to sit in the bed of the truck since the cab was only a two-seater. To make matters worse they got a little homesick and decided to take a dirt road for a portion of the trip to the hotel. When we got to the hotel our friends were checked in right away and got a gift basket that included embroidered BMX gloves from their travel agent who also got them a surprise room upgrade. We walked into the luxurious hotel covered in more dirt than a windy day in the 909. The staff looked at our appearance and immediately called security. It took nearly an hour for them to believe what had happened and that we were actually guests at the hotel. I should have listened to my bro D-Skillit and just used a travel agent."

Signed

Matt in Perris, CA

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When Sasquatch Attacks

Dear Jen and Tom,
We were honeymooning up in the Seattle area and out on a nature picnic. It was a beautiful day (one of the two days a year it doesn't rain in Seattle) and we hadpacked my favorite lunch, Taco Bell and a bottle of $2 wine from Trader Joe's. We found a nice little grassy knoll on which to sit and enjoy our delicious meal. We finished our food and continued drinking our wine. About the time we polished off the bottle we heard rustling in the shrubbery nearby.

Next thing we know we were starring down a huge creature. I just happened to loose a contact and couldn't quite make out what it was. From what I could make out it seemed to be a very large bear-like woodland creature. My husband jumped to the rescue and throws the empty bottle of wine at what we now figured was either a grizzly bear or Sasquatch himself.

My husband has never been a very skilled athlete so his throw was completely off line and managed to strike me in the back of the head. The next thing I know I was waking up back at the hotel with an icepack on my head reading a note from my husband saying he was at the post office sending the tape into 'When Animals Attack!'"

Sincerely,
Melissa in Scranton, PA

Honeymoons advice # 4592: Avoid Sasquatch on romantic picnics.

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Jellyfish Nightmare

Dear Jen and Tom,

My husband and I just recently got married and decided that for our honeymoon we would take a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. The first couple of days at sea were very eventful. We tried our hands at the slots, played a little mini golf and even climbed the rock wall! Our first port was Mazatlan andinstead of booking a shore excursion we talked to some of the locals and booked a little boat ride to a secluded beach with some of other couples. The beach had gorgeous white sand crystal clear blue water and best of all there weren't too many tourists at all. My husband and I decided to go snorkeling but after 10 minutes or so he was grabbing my arm and we were running to shore. I had no idea what was going on but apparently there were a bunch of clear jellyfish swimming in that area and it turned out my husband's arms were covered with jellyfish stings. Some of the locals told us to use lime juice for the stings and fortunately they had some on them. Thankfully they only lasted a couple of days and now we know the next time we go on a cruise we're booking the shore excursions through a travel agent.

Sincerely,

Beth and Sam

Boston, MA

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