Dear Jen and Tom,
You are never going to believe what happened two years ago on our honeymoon. My husband Joe and I decided to take a cruise for 8 days after the wedding. We didn't know much about cruises but our friends gave us some tips and we landed on going around Africa. We had high but few expectations. Now, don't get me wrong, we did have an amazing time being together, however, from the booking to the unpacking and doing laundry once home again, everything was a disaster. Joe, being the accountant that he is, always likes to get the best deal he possibly can. So he decided to go on random websites for hours each night finding the "perfect" cruise. I didn't find out about his extensive search until recently.
We got to the air port around 5 AM the morning after the wedding and conveniently our flight was over booked, which led to four hours of a little girl's stories, who was flying to visit daddy because mommy kicked him out (Great way to start a marriage, right?) Once we arrived on the ship we felt invincible. However, it didn't really look how we felt. I was fairly old and made creaking noises. I make jokes that I felt like I was on a pirate ship, not an elegant cruise. But I couldn't tell Joe because he was so proud of his great deal. Well the first night went smoothly, for a gigantic pirate ship. Then the bickering began. Fighting when we woke up, until deep into the night. It kept us up the majority of the cruise. We couldn't escape it; not at dinner, not at the pool, not even in the spa when we were apart. I'm not talking about Joe and I fighting. I'm talking about the others on this miserable divorcee cruise. It was horrible. Terrible. All the couples seemed to be seconds away from a divorce. The only thing Joe and I had were each other. The cruise was a complete mismatch. I felt like I was trapped in a bad comedy.
But the misery didn't stop there. Joe could see I was miserable so he tried to spice things up. He got me a stuffed dog, dark chocolates, and some gorgeous flowers from the pitiful cruise souvenir shop. Then the old boat hit a wave and everything Joe had just bought me went, down, down, down. As I glanced over the side of the ship all I could see was the tiny dark pieces of happiness soak into the ocean. It was a small event, cheap chocolates, but to me it was the end of the world.
This next part is the icing on the cake. Wouldn't you know, as soon as all Joe's hard work hit the water, Mr. Rosengardner came stumbling up to me. He tried to put the moves on me, for the fifth time, completely ignoring the ring on my finger and the man on my arm. He spilt his gin and tonic all over my blouse. Then, of course, tried the oldest trick in the book- tried to pat me dry. Oh I wish you could have seen the look on Joe's face right before he clocked that old son of gun. All I remember next was a lot of pointing and more yelling. At the next port we were asked to leave the cruise.
So, there we were, stuck in Africa with no hotel no idea what we were going to do. Luckily we found a nice hotel and settled down for the night. We found out the nearest airport was 28 miles away. This would be no problem if we were in southern California, or even anywhere that uses something other than donkey for travel. Can you imagine riding a donkey for 28 miles on your honeymoon? OUTRAGOUS! The bumps and smells were a close second and third favorite right after the pesky bugs. Needless to say, this June when we renew vows I did the research this time and came across AskAboutTravel. My travel agent, Amie was so helpful and I am completely confident that this time it will not end in a donkey ride to the airport. Love,
Allison and Derek
Seattle, WA
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